Monday, July 18, 2011


I knew it would come. Slowly but surely, the joyous freedom, endless sunshine, and this blissful spirit have faded a bit. I've definitely felt the pangs of moving to a new place and knowing NO ONE, recently. I miss my friends. I, of course, miss the restaurants. I miss being completely alone in New York. It's different being alone out here in the burbs. I feel people wondering silently from their car windows, "who is this girl on the red bike? she is always alone.. and usually carrying many different things in her basket, and she's always in the way!" 

I say alone, I mean I do have a very sweet roommate. But he goes to work everyday. And sometimes he has to work late, or go to after work drinks. And I remain here. To sulk. 

Which is so not fair for me to even say. I couldn't ask for more right now! I have complete and utter freedom. I have NOTHING to do. (Minus the daunting task of writing thank you notes.) I can go to the beach and read a book-and I have! I can ride my bike-and I do! I can cook-yes! I can workout! I can play with my camera and write and ponder this wild and lovely little secret idea I have been harboring. 

Free as a bird. 

And I know if life continues, as it does, this freedom will be short-lived. So why not SOAK IT UP!?

I was supposed to have some friends out tonight to sip cocktails in Connecticut. Have girly chats and giggle and catch up. Well, of course, TODAY it decides it's going to rain, possibly even HAIL. It hasn't rained one day since we moved out here. 

Re-scheduling is a nightmare with such fun & busy girls and we find ourselves settling on next week. Sigh.... 

So, I sit alone with my book, homemade walnut pesto pasta and a glass of wine. At 5PM, mind you-with no husband to wait for (work drinks) there is no need to wait to serve dinner for one. 

I watch the rain from inside and listen to weird Indian music. Chris' brother has an affinity for finding cool and interesting tunes and then creating great play lists. It's actually pretty calming. I feel like I'm in yoga class! 

It's raining. But no hail. (It's actually really bright out!) I know that tomorrow will be the same. Unless I take advantage of this time that I have. Which Chris reminds me of often, "I am lucky to have it!" And it's true. Fast forward five years and two or three children later (God willing). I'm not envisioning much free time? Or much wine for that matter! 

So tomorrow WILL be different. I will work on my photography website-almost ready for a reveal! I will write more than five thank you notes, and I will continue to research and toil away at this little idea that I hope will one day come into fruition. And I will appreciate every second of it. Rather than feeding into the loneliness...

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