Back in New York last night Chris and I plop down in bed after dinner and I ramble on and on about how lovely the weekend was and how amazing the house we stayed in was and how magical it all felt and how homesick I am now. I talk about wanting a beach cottage there one day (this had been a dream of mine FOREVER and a conversation we have frequently). He responds frankly and not in a mean way with, "You always want what you can't have."
But that's not it at all.
I took the train back to CT very early this morning in order to let our poor pup out of her crate before it hit the 13th hour mark. I had coffee and read my book during the commute thinking about how different life is out here, but how I also love it. I take Dixie for a quick walk before work and notice all the new buds on the trees!! Spring has sprung ;) I say hello to all my neighbors and their dogs also taking a walk on this lovely morning. Once back, I dress for work and glance out the window to high-tide and a glassy reflective water. I love it here. I do. But I miss home.
It's not that I want what I can't have. It's that I want it all. (I don't know what's worse.)
I want my children to grow up here for the culture and the diversity and the amazing public school system and the train and the City and in our beautiful and idyllic neighborhood. For the opportunities they will have, for the smart, open-minded, interesting and important people they will meet. For feeling challenged!
But I want them to also grow up in the South for the sweet, kind, and outgoing people. For their accents. For the hugs. For the slower pace. For the sun and humidity. For the beach. The REAL beach. Where the water is warm and the sand is sugary white. I want them to be close to their Southern grandparents Sue Sue and Pop and grow up playing with their redheaded Southern accented cousins Avery and McCarver. I want them to wear smocked monogrammed dresses and bubbles and HUGE bows in their hair. I want them to run around Seaside and Watercolor barefoot with salty skin and snowcones in their hands.
I want them to be Yankee/Southern hybrid children.
And I want to be bi-coastal. I don't want to just visit. I want to live near the Gulf and the Atlantic. Chris wants this too, I know it. He tells me we can work towards it and save for it. I just have to be patient. (I have a really hard time with patience. I'm working on it though....)
In the meantime, we have booked another trip down to Watercolor for my 30th birthday and our first anniversary. I am counting down the days.....